I'm not amazing or anything, But I entertain myself. |
Have a Nikon D40 and a shit attitude.
being a slut is being aloneI was the kid that always wanted to be a step behind. I always wanted to be a question short, a second too late, a minute gone, wasted, time filled with nothing. That was me, always me.being a slut is being alone by laughatyourself
I was the girl that lost her virginity in a blur of a red shirt and blue shorts. I didn't know it then, but sex brings power. And, I walked the halls of my spoiled highschool with a swagger I had never possessed before. A confidence I never knew. The consiquences were harsh, the words cutting. But I was never any good at cleaning up messes, so I let the rumors fly, I let the hurt go.
I couldn't keep going the way I was, because after a day or two everything faded. I didn't feel so good, I didn't feel so attractive or alluring. I just kept letting people in. And after a boy or two or twelve, I stopped feeling pretty.
I knew I wasn't beautiful.
It didn't magically dawn on me, like in the books. There was no light bulb, like in the cartoons.
I just knew, I knew when I walked down the halls I was disgusting